Monday, November 2, 2020

Marrying an Igbo man? Six (6) things you must learn

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male, female in an Igbo traditional marriage attire




 Marrying an Igbo man? Six (6) things you must learn

In a rapid modernizing society which aims to share responsibilities and roles between genders equally, this piece is for non-Igbo wives or wives-to-be hoping to learn a few habits to make a modern Igbo man adore her and if need be, give his life for hers without hesitation (yes! Igbo men are that loving). It is also important to mention at this point that this piece is not solely from a patriarchy point of view but a general attempt at exposing the ‘Achilles heel’ of the modern Igbo man’s heart.


Marriages between Igbo men and women from other tribes around the world are becoming an every weekend occurrence. This could easily be attributed to urbanization and economic migration which the Igbo people of South-East Nigeria are known well for. So, in our quota of contribution to world peace, we’ve decided to help our sisters from other tribes with 6 important keys to an Igbo man’s heart.



Here are the big 6:

  • Fraternize with his friends There is no loss in this habit for you, fraternizing with his friends makes it easy for him to have them over or visit them with you, such visits strengthens your place as his best friend amongst his friends.

 

Fraternizing with his friends also endears you to them, Men advise themselves a lot especially when they like or admire their friend’s partner.

 

Finally, fraternizing with his friends puts you in a vantage point to sieve his friends. If he is already comfortable with his friends around you; you can easily discourage him from continuing a friendship that your intuition is telling you will be detrimental to your relationship with him (your hubby).

 



  • Love his Mom We know you didn’t sign up for all that, but if you want him to respect you and adore you, you will have to mirror those affections on his mother. Do not worry if she is not responding due to any strange reasons. Just try your best, you picked the man for some reason and in due time he will show you why it wasn’t a mistake.

 



  • Be Loyal This is not same as fidelity neither is it love, this is just plain loyalty. Be dependable, be predictable (yes! men are different from women).

 

The average Igbo man is hustler by nature, he is always thinking of opportunities to explore, he can’t multi task, he can’t be sharing his time between trying to provide or build his family and investigating what his wife is doing or why she is not being straight forward with him.

He is likely to forego the business or whatever engagement he was in to first figure your actions out, and God help the both of you if it’s just tantrums or something ‘unedifying’.

We do not support or encourage any form of infidelity in marriages but if you ever get caught up in any ‘situationship’, do the best you can to be always steadfast.

 

PS- Surprises are allowed to spice up relationships, even pranks are encouraged to create good memories, but do not make it a habit.



  • Learn to cook his favorite soup At this stage in life, you should have realized men (in general) are big babies, things like preparing his favorite food, playing his favorite music, or supporting his favorite team can earn you a good treat and a special date in the bedroom. You learning how to cook his favorite soup or meal is a huge bragging rights for them.

 


  • Show him off There is really no need to elucidate this; this is your second nature as a woman so just mirror it on him. Yes! Igbo men love that stuff too!

 


  • Always voice your opinion Actively engage him in conversations, not arguments o!

  •  Argue at your own discretion. What we are advising is active engagements in conversation especially when you have an opposing view to his; this makes him aware of your thought process. It will also contribute largely to his peace of mind because when you are relatively mute over an issue, he doesn’t have to worry about what you are thinking.

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